Middle School

Well Savannah has graduated from grade school at the top her classroom. The teachers were so sad to see her go. She had become their best helper and aid. Running errands to the office and other classrooms, taking the other handicap children to their classes and instructing the younger kids in what to do. For a little girl who had no hope (according to the experts) this was a major goal. It has gone a long way to relieve my fears of her starting middle school. She has grown so much.

She started her ESY (extended school year) today. It is designed to help the children maintain the skills they have learned throughout the year. Since Autistic children forget so easily, or maybe it would be better to say that they 'dismiss' what they have learned if they don't use the skills each day, (an autistic child rarely forgets. At least mine doesn't) it is imperative that they keep using the skills in order to succeed.

Normally Savannah is upset at having to start ESY while her sisters get to stay home. This year was different. She had no problem going and was excited to do so. We also kept a promise we made to her at the beginning of the year. Since her older sister got a cell phone when she started middle school, so would Savannah. So when she got home from the bus today, I had her cell phone waiting. She was so excited and carried it with her in her belt clip all night.

I feel lucky that I have two other children who are typical developing that can and do help her to learn little things like using the phone. Her sister, while they do get a little annoyed from time to time with Savannah differences (so do I), they have no problem teaching her and guiding her. I have been so blessed to have this advantage that other families do not. My advice to those families.

Find a big sister/ big brother program to get your child into. Simply playing with an older, TD child will do wonders. Autistic children mimic what the see, hear and read much more than most.

Get together with family that have other children as much as possible.

Find a support group in your town and set up play dates. If there are none, start one. Invite the parents that have children in your child's class. You will be surprised how much they are willing and eager to join.

Most of all, do not think that your child can not learn something simply because they are autistic or mentally challenged. They can. They will. Each person learns differently but we learn the same things. So can they. If one approach does not work, try another. They can learn, if you are willing to teach.

Graduation

After 11 years of way to many emotions to list and a whirlwind of chaos, Savannah has graduated Grade school and at the top her Special Ed class. She has gone from someone who would never talk, to speaking clearly and focused. I have been blessed with having the best teacher I have ever come across, spending the last two years dedicating each day to my daughters success. I can never express enough my gratitude to Holly for her amazing teaching. To all the people that have worked with me side by side for years to get my daughter to this point.

My daughter said it very well at her graduation speech. "I'm ready to shoot for the stars." She already has. Later she looked me in the eye and said "Don't worry mommy, everything is going to be okay." I cried.

A Teachers Gift (for Holly)

You turned a frown into a smile.
You taught the lame to walk a mile.
You gave the voiceless the wonder of words.
The silent were heard.
You gave the lost, direction.
You showed the timid the power of affection.
You replaced tears with wonders glisten.
The deaf began to listen.
You tamed the wild.
You brought out the brightness of a child.
You showed them how to cope.
The despondent were given hope.
When the day comes and the Lord asks you,

"What did you do right?"
Say with a warm sigh;
"I taught your angel how to fly."

Most importantly, To my heavenly Father who has walked with me, carried me, taught me, and put up with all my mistakes yet still managed to see something good enough in me to bless me with not one but three of his angels...Thank you again with all my soul for this miracle. I love you.

To those who are still struggling with getting through those early years, there is hope, there is a light and as my daughter says "Everything is going to be okay." just keep believing, keep strong, keep fighting and don't let anyone tell you that your child cannot do it. When they start talking about what your baby can't do, stop them and tell them what your child CAN and WILL do.

Pets

We all know about service animals. The most commonly known is the seeing eye dog. These remarkable animals are trained and then utilized by the blind to help them see and get around. But what many don't know is that there are service dogs for many other causes including Autism. They are called therapy animals and are classified under the same service animal label. Now while these dogs don't do the same thing as a seeing eye dog would do, they do have many uses. For example.

The service dog that my daughter has is one that we have had since birth. He is a gorgeous Lab/Dane mix and very gentle and patient with her. Since he grew up with her and knows her very well he was a perfect choice. We really didn't have to do any special training as Savannah did not need help in that manner. He has however provided her with a friend, a companion and anther set of eyes for me. In fact, the dog's name was one of the first words Savannah said; "Shunshine" aka "Sunshine"

Now being a large dog, we were worried that she would eventually become scared of him or he would get to big. In fact the truth is the opposite. Savannah is actually afraid of small dogs I believe as a direct result of her thinking that a dog should be big.

There have been plenty of times when Sunshine would protect Savannah even from her own lack of self protection. He would lead her through the house when she was little and guide her towards me when I called her and she wouldn't respond. The older Savannah gets and the less she needs such attention, Sunshine has maintained his status as the Family Dog and keeps a warm place in our hearts. I know without a doubt that should the need arise, I can call on his instincts, training and love he has for my girls to aid them.

Also, since Savannah has been approved (a simple note from a family doctor stating that Savannah could benefit from a service animal) for a service animal, when ever we rented a place the owners could not refuse our application on the grounds of any 'no pet' clause. Since Sunshine is not listed as pet but her therapy dog.

If your child is suffering from lack of social skills (nothing socializes better than mans best friend) and other known issues associated with Autism, look into getting a animal that would be their alone to love. Start out with a young animal so the pet can grow up with child and include your child in the decision.

Look at each breed of Dog or Cat or the character of what animal your child chooses and get one that has the temperment that your child needs. You would be surprised at how much having a pet to love, to play with and to care for will help your Autistic child to smile. And as we all know, the smile of an Autistic child is worth more than a thousand words.

clothing

When Savannah was younger it was difficult to keep any clothes on her, as she got older we worked with it and it's gotten much better. But I have noticed that although she will wear clothes now and I don't have to worry about her stripping in the middle of Walmart with a blizzard blowing outside, she still prefers clothes that are loose and not restricting. She refuses to wear any pants with a button or snap, only elastic waste and she doesn't care for Denim. Also her shirts cannot be tight tees and long sleeves are also out.

She still has issues with her senses, such as cold and hot. She will wear a jacket in hot weather and take one off in the winter. She says she is not cold, although I can see the goosebumps on her arms. It makes me wonder why she doesn't seem to feel it when her body is giving all the outward signs of being cold or hot. She is worse with cold weather.

At this point, I got her a light jacket that wasn't too heavy thinking that this was the problem. Nope. So for lack of anything else, she is still made to wear a jacket when I feel it's needed. As for the rest. If she never wears jeans in her life...so what?! I will continue with stretched pants and sweat pants.

Colds and Autism

Caring for a sick autistc is hard enough. They either act as though a simple cold will kill them or a chopped off arm is nothing. It's one extreme or another, and giving medicine is like trying to catch the sun.

With my daughter she never tells me when she is feeling bad, so unless she has physical signs, (runny nose, cough) I have no idea she is sick. She doesn't even complain of headaches that go with having a fever. For this reason, her colds often go undetected. I have gotten in the habit of checking for a fever during the months that the flu is raging. When I or someone else in my house gets sick, I start keeping a close eye on her and checking for symptoms. It's a little bit more than I have to do with my TD (typically developing) kids, but chalk it up to life with an autistic child.

Nearly a year later

I really am bad at this blogging. I keep telling myself to get into it, but at the end of the day I am so busy focusing on the next day task I completely forget. I am going to attempt to force myself to post every day or at least every couple of days.

Well, my little girls still hasn't been able to understand menstrual cycles and the class was a total bomb. With her JR. High starting next year I am meeting with the health team and the psychology team to see what can be done. It still seems as though no one has ever faced this problem before. No one talks about it, no on has any idea. This is beyond stupid. So I will post all information and problem solving about it here as I go (if I can be a good little blogger and remember lol)

The first thing I have realized is I need to keep the explanation simple and I know that I am more afraid of how she will handle this then she will be when the time comes. I am lucky that my little girl has an older sister that has just hit her MC and I can use that to let Savannah get used to the idea and learn that it's normal.

As for explaining it. A friend made a really good suggestion. Tell her it's her body cleaning itself out. Because if you simplify the whole process, that's what it is. The body is cleaning out the extra blood it stored up to create a baby. Now if I add in that baby part, Savannah will believe that she is having a baby every month. Not good. So I will leave that out for now until she is older.

So for those of you looking for ideas. Introduce your daughter to it by not hiding your cycles from her. I know we do as a rule, but this isn't a time to coy, your Autistic child needs to understand and conventional ways may not work. I don't mean to get discusting with it, use common sense. Then when the questions start or even before they start, use the cleaning explanation if you are without one.

Let me know how it goes and if anyone has any other ideas that worked for them. (okay I have like 1 follower, but I'm trying. lol

Back Again

It's been a long time since I posted to this blog. Life raising 3 girls can get your mind on other things. The major thing at the moment is trying to explain to a 10 year old Autistic girl all about puberty and menstral cycles.

Still not sure how to handle this one. I have signed up my daughter for the puberty class at school and we shall see. Luckily she is high functioning. I have looked to many other places including doctors to try and discover a way to explain this to her, but to no avail. It's as if I am the first one with a female Autistic. It's more than frustrating.

You can bet as I go through this with her I will posting updates as they happen followed by a final report. Hopefully someone else will go looking for an answer and actually get one.

Raising a child is hard enough. Raising one with Autism, is infinatly harder. Answers to our questions are paramount. When we look around and get no responce it's very easy to feel alone and lost. Hopefully here there will some answers.

My daughter will go through this class the 18th I believe. Look back here for a full report on what happened and the reaction she has.